Facing down fear, uncertainty, and doubt

Fear, uncertainty, and doubt (FUD): most of us experience these emotions from time to time. It’s worth stating that all emotions are valid, and these emotions may be perfectly justifiable if you’re trying something new, pushing your limits, and reaching outside your comfort zone. However, allowing these emotions to take up too much space and energy isn’t helpful. Getting stuck in FUD negatively impacts our thoughts (self-talk) and behaviors (performance and ability to reach our goals). That voice in your head that shows up right before the big event, performance, or presentation that tells you “You aren’t good enough, you didn’t prepare enough, you’ll make a fool of yourself, there’s no way you can do this.” That’s FUD. Listening to that voice erodes our confidence, motivation, and willingness to enter the arena. Negative self-talk keeps us from taking the leap, giving our all, and allowing ourselves to move from good to great. Listen to that voice long enough and we find ourselves constantly backing away from opportunities for growth, achievement, and to pursue what excites us.

So how can we quiet FUD and show up when it counts? Here are a few strategies to quiet the negative self talk and allow your best, most confident self to show up when you need it to.

Confront negativity and build yourself up: Ever heard the saying “name it to tame it"? The idea here is to get the thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Find a piece of paper and create two columns. Set a timer for 5-10 minutes. In the first column, write down each negative thought you have about yourself, your ability to succeed, and what the negative voice in your head tells you before the big moment. Done before the timer? Dont forget to add the ones you are too embarrassed to admit, the ones you are ashamed of because you know logically they aren’t true. Or even more scary, the ones you are afraid really are true. Not done when the timer beeps? Wrap up your thought and move on. Again the goal isn’t to get stuck here. Now move onto the second column. In this column we are going to “put the thoughts on trial”. Your job is to find a counter argument for each negative thought you wrote down on the other side. Counter arguments can be opposite/positive thoughts, neutral thoughts, pointing out lack of evidence for the negative thoughts, something you really believe deep down, something you want to believe deep down, or something a loved one would say to you if you voiced that thought out loud.

Visualize leaving FUD behind: Once you know what types of thoughts tend to enter your mind in these moments you can start catching them. When you do catch them, come up with a visual for leaving these thoughts behind or setting them aside. Some good ones include placing the thoughts on clouds or leaves and watching them blow away, imagining them as heavy weights that you set down, or thinking of them like the volume on a radio station that you can turn down and tune out. We cannot always control which thoughts enter our minds, but we can do our best to control how we engage with them. Just because the station is always playing doesn’t mean we need to listen.

Just breathe: Because breath work sounds painfully simple, it is one of the most overlooked and under appreciated tools we have to calm down anxiety in the moment. Certain types of breathing patterns active our vagus nerve. This powerful nerve connects our brain to our body and is responsible for our parasympathetic nervous system. When we activate this system, we can turn down the body’s fight or flight response, which is a source for anxious thoughts, physical sensations of anxiety, and feelings of threat. There are many types of breath work out there but two of my favorite are “box breathing” and “2 in, 1 out”. The foundation of all breath work is diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing. If you put a hand on your stomach and a hand on your chest, you are diaphragmatically breathing if the hand on your stomach moves up and down, rather than the hand on your chest. Box breathing is an even pattern of breath, where you inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and repeat onwards. Another option is 2 in, 1 out, which is exactly what it sounds like. First take one deep breath in, then take another full deep breath in before powerfully exhaling all the air from both breaths in one go. Experiment with what type of breath work you like best. There is no one size fits all.

Embrace your power: Research shows that our posture and body position can have an impact on our cortisol and testosterone levels in as little as a few minutes. By changing how your stand, you can actually reduce anxiety and improve your confidence. Known as power posing, body positions that evoke this change tend to be expansive ones. Think standing tall with legs and arms outstretched, or hands on your hips in classic “superman” pose. You can also use a position that is meaningful to you specifically. This could be a position you adopt when performing or competing that makes you feel strong, confident, and reassured. For example, a position you use on stage when performing or an athletic position that makes you feel powerful (such as running, jumping, shooting baskets, throwing a ball).

Reframe it: FUD often leads us to view an important opportunity as threatening or anxiety provoking. Unfortunately, viewing something as a threat decreases our capacity for cognitive and physical performance as our body’s resources are diverted toward the fight or flight response and away from the task at hand. If you notice FUD rearing its head, try reframing your thoughts and feelings to move away from a threat-based mentality. You can do this by reframing the situation as an opportunity for growth and learning, as a celebration of all the hard work and preparation that has gone into this moment, and by checking and letting go of expectations of perfection. We can also reframe the physical cues of FUD. For example, instead of telling yourself you are nervous, anxious, or jittery, tell yourself your body and brain are preparing you for action and success, and that instead of feeling afraid you are feeling excited.

Practice when the pressure is off: Dont expect yourself to eliminate FUD right away. The tools above are like any muscle, and need to be practiced and built over time to work best. Practice when the stakes are lower to give yourself the confidence these tools can work for you when you most need them.

And finally, remember its not realistic to think that we will face down FUD once and it will be defeated permenantley. FUD is going to keep popping up in new situations when we venture into the unknown and push our limits. Just know that the more often you allow yourself to dance with these feelings, the easier it becomes to control them instead of feeling like they control you.